I realize many men enjoy being the receiver of anal sex along with women, but for the sake of simplicity in this how-to, I will use her to denote the receiver. No offense meant guys!

So you want to have anal sex? You've taken the first step by opening this article to get some good information about having successful anal sex. Desiring anal sex is a perfectly normal want. Okay, so there are going to be people who snarl their nose at the idea or think it's disgusting, but don't let them color your perceptions or cool your desire.

Anal sex can be immensely pleasurable for both the giver and receiver. The plethora of nerve endings around the sphincter causes the intense pleasure that can felt during anal sex. However, anal sex is not something you can just dive right into. If the receiver has never participated in anal play, it may take anywhere from a few days to a few weeks to get her ready to graduate to something as large as a penis or dildo.

There are several keys to working your way up to anal sex. While not all people will need to follow every step, they are good guidelines to follow in order to make your anal sex encounter as enjoyable as possible.

1. Relaxation: Very important for successful play, relaxation can make or break your session. No matter how turned on she might be, if she's tense when it comes time for insertion, she's not going to enjoy it as much. Many actions can be taken to relax and prepare her. Soothing music, a glass of wine, even a hot bath beforehand can all lend to relaxation of her body and muscles. A massage leading into more sexual play can be beneficial as well.
   
   

2. Arousal: Being turned on can go a big way into helping easy the way for anal sex. Don't go straight for her ass. Regular foreplay is a must before even attempting anal play. Caress and stroke her breasts, her nipples. Use your fingers. Use your mouth. Everywhere. Bring her to orgasm a time or two. If she's a puddle of release, it'll be much easier to keep her relaxed when you start messing with her ass.
   
   

3. Lube: The anal canal is not like the pussy. It has no lubrication of its own, so you are going to need some from a bottle. Use copious amounts. Even if you are only using a pinky finger to rim around her hole, use lube. Even if you think you have enough, use more, and then add a little bit more for good measure. When it comes to anal play and anal sex, you can never have enough lube.
   
   What kind of lube you ask? Any thick water (or even silicone based) liquid or gel lube will do. The thicker the lube, the more staying power it has. One of the benefits of silicone based lubes is it refreshes and becomes slippery with a couple of droplets of water. It also works great if you want to have some fun in the shower or tub. Vaseline is not good if you are using a condom. It can break down the condom and cause holes. Not something you want to happen if you are practicing safe sex.
   
   

4. Cleanliness: It's not necessary for her to have an enema before anal play or sex. Really, it's not. Some couples prefer this because they know they won't encounter any unexpected fecal matter, but it's not something you must do. If she's had a good bowel movement earlier in the day, it's likely you won't have to worry about running into something you don't want to. Since the area you penetrate isn't a holding area for fecal matter, unless she really needs to go to the bathroom, chances are you aren't going to run into anything but trace amounts.
   
   If you decide you really must do an enema, dump out the contents of what's in the bottle. It contains chemicals you don't need. Plain warm water will work fine. Also, be sure you do the enema a few hours before the intended play or things might be uncomfortable for her.
   
   

5. Work up to Penetration: Like previously stated, you can't just shove your cock inside her ass. The best way to start playing with her ass is while you are digitally or orally pleasing her pussy. A tongue around the asshole feels absolutely heavenly and can help the outer ring relax. You can also achieve this by slowly stroking with a lubed finger. Insertion should begin with the tiniest tip of the smallest finger. One important thing to note: if you aren't using gloves, make certain your nails are trimmed and you have no rough edges or corners. The inside flesh is very sensitive and abrades easily.
   
   Don't start thrusting immediately. Let her get used to the feeling of having something inside her ass. As she relaxes, you can slowly enter her. Don't try and push the entire finger in at once. Go slowly, adding more of your finger and watch and listen to her signals. You'll know when she's enjoying it and you can move further. Work your way up from fingers to plugs or thin dildos. To help keep her relaxed while penetrating, play with her clit. It'll help keep her mind off what you are doing to her ass and make her less likely to tense up.
   
   Once you've worked your way up to plugs or dildos, you can try for penetration with your cock. Same rules apply here as for everything else. Go slow, and use plenty of lube. Start with just the tip and thrust very slightly, only allowing the length you are pushing into her to increase as she adjusts. She can help things along by bearing down as if she needs to go to the bathroom. Don't worry, it won't cause any problems with fecal matter, but it will help her sphincter muscles open and be more receptive to your cock.
   
   Once you're fully inside still for a moment so she can get used to the feeling of having your cock inside her ass. When she's ready for you to start thrusting, do so slowly. Once she's totally relaxed and stretched, you can increase the speed, but make sure she is ready before you do so.

One thing to note that isn't covered in the list above: Don't put fingers, a toy, or a cock in her pussy if it's been in her ass. Doing that can give her a nasty infection. If you wore a condom when you fucked her ass, then of course, you can replace it with a fresh one or take it off and then penetrate her pussy. However, anything else must be thoroughly cleaned after anal play before it can be used inside her.

Discomfort during initial penetration isn't uncommon. As long as it's not burning, searing pain, she can likely take some deep breaths and relax herself enough to continue. However, if at anytime, she feels pain and tells you stop, do it. Don't try and talk her into letting you keep trying. Pain is the body's way of telling you something is wrong. You don't necessarily have to give up on it all together for that time. Go back to foreplay. Get her more aroused, even bring her to orgasm, then try again.

I hope this article has helped those of you who are interested in anal sex and needed some information on how to have a safe and fun experience. Good luck in all your anal sex endeavors and have fun!